EvensLily

This is my first proper short story, you see, I waffle on a lot most of the time! I hope you enjoy it x The rain battered down the window, ...

Hello, Firstly I would like to point out that your writing I found, quite mature, Yes, I do enjoy reading your writing style... what you were writing about not so ...

Chapter TEN: ALONE LOCATION: The Bridge My feet were bleeding as I walked down a parley lit street; the sun slowly rising in the distance. I hadn’t stopped crying, I ...

Heya, Just a few grammatical errors :) Me and Kayleigh - sorry but I'm picky, it should be Kayleigh and I. holiday without me. But when - I thought. But ...

Hey, I thought this was a very good poem, it was hard to read at parts because your (great) vocabulary use, for my age, I didn't understand what you meant, ...

Chapter NINE: MAGNUS LOCATION: The White House Nate cursed as Magnus tumbled on the floor on top of him. Magnus watched as Nate bounced up from the floor and disappeared, ...

Chapter EIGHT: The STALKER LOCATION: Nathanial’s House “We are listening, and we're not blind, this is your life, this is your time” the music smoothed over me, my ears perking ...

I have no Idea is this is good or not but... Enjoy! A small country estate that lied right next to one of the largest pieces of land in the ...

Chapter SEVEN: MURDER LOCATION: Glasgow City Centre I kept on walking, where to? I didn’t know. I needed air. Somewhere with lots of things going on to distract me from ...

Hey, Welcome to YWS! Slight grammatical error! his whiskers across me cheek - do you mean my cheek? This poem was very good. I got exactly what you were talking ...

Heya! Just a few grammatical errors to begin with... yey! and the touch of His body Why is he capitalized? - also on the last line. which had always made ...

Heya, This is great, I love the story line. Her brother is so sweet and kind. It's brilliant. Just one thing though, I'm not sure with your writing style. It's ...

Chapter SIX: The KISS LOCATION: the Bridge I only suddenly realised how scared and shaky I was as I walked towards the Bridge. Everyone as usual turned smiling but there ...

Hey! Right, just to begin with I think we should take a look about your writing style because even though it is good, some slight changes to this short story/beginning ...

Heya, First off, it was good! I love the title the reason for rain thought it was really good. Your writing was good, not too blocky which is always a ...