Esmé

Hello, Welcome to YWS, know you'll love it here if you love writing :) But do you know you'd prolly get more reviews if you reviewed others' works? Hey. I'd ...

Hello! Argh dialogue punctuation. Maybe Demter's terrific post will help? Here's the link: That's especially important since the whole piece is almost solely made up of dialogue. Now, about that. ...

Hello! Welcome to YWS, a very superb writing site :) First thing first, dialogue punctuation. In this piece it's wrong, but don't worry, quite easy to learn if you just ...

Hello! Don't think you are :) _ Got lost in the forest - I don't like it. So the beginning is boring. It's well-written, maybe (apart from one aspect I'll ...

Hello! Well, first off, guys fall for plain Janes in novels. Meaning, an occasional "said" doesn't hurt :) I saw some wonderful tags (informed, emitted, chuckled) - and those are ...

Hello, I once had a character named Lorelei haha - or something similar, I forget now. Kind of sad, that. Pfft I was so first with my review! Now I ...

Hello, Welcome to YWS :) Alright, the first thing that comes to mind when just skimming over - not yet even reading - is that there is soo much dialogue ...

Hello, I'll be honest and say that I haven't read any previous posts from this series - so I'll be reviewing this as if I found a page ripped out ...

Hello! Welcome to YWS, hope you'll love it here :) OK, first thing: dialogue punctuation! It's a little thing that seemingly might not have anything to do with the story ...

Mell! Hello, welcome to YWS, hope you'll stay with us forever and ever. Haha I remember how nervous I was when I posted for the first time (I'm so old! ...

Hello, Exciting beginning, pulled me right in - masterfully done. From that end, it was terrific. Loads of active words and appropriate descriptions. No telling us how the weather looks ...

Zibbie, Hi, welcome to YWS, hope you'll stay with us forever and ever :) Anyhow, the first thing that comes to mind is, yep, "she sat, looking down at her ...

Hello, Welcome to YWS, hope you'll have a lovely time and will stay with us forever! Just remember that you'll probably get more reviews if you review others' works, yes? ...

Hello, Welcome to YWS, hope you'll have a splendid time here :) One thing I noticed is that most of your paragraph's are one-liners, and I didn't like that at ...

Hey, So many pronouns in that first paragraph! Almost every sentence starts with "his", "he" - one with "she" and that would be about it. Interest factor immediately goes down, ...