Esmé

Hi, l'll be ignoring grammar and the such as Meep seems to have that covered - no use repeating what others have said and said well. quote: She looked beautiful ...

Hello, I like your writing style, I like how particular words are used together and the description in the first paragraph was awesome. But it's the first paragraph! The one ...

Hey, thank you so much for the helpful review! :)

i. The bell rings and Amanda Bontemps looks at her bumpy with calluses hands, and imagines what her fingers will look like when she pays the stack of bills splashed ...

Hello, My main problem with this piece is that it's wordy, terribly wordy in terms of tails in the beginning. There are so many of them in sentences that at ...

Hey, First of all, proper dialogue punctuation is key in a piece that does have dialogue. It's very, very easy and once you get the hang of it, do it ...

Hey, Confusion was mentioned, but I wasn't confused - and would pounce at the opportunity to criticize this piece somehow, pretending to be helpful all the while turning green with ...

Hi, Everyone knows Auschwitz. Everyone. But one of the biggest ironies in history (and this is solely my personal opinion) is that the camp was liberated by - the Red ...

Hey. Highly attention grabbing title you have there. :xd: He did this, he did that. That's basically the whole first paragraph, minus the dialogue sentence. The first part of the ...

Hi. Consider reviewing two pieces equal in length to the one you posted before posting at all. I think it's in the YWS rules somewhere. Acheron like Sherrilyn Kenyon's Acheron? ...

Hello, Gentelman's Quarterly! (it appears one pokes at people's names by default after being ask one too many times - "Twilight"?!). quote: Oh, but it was anything but. Reeks of ...

Hey. Nice catchy title - packaging goes a long way. And to answer your question, everything's worth continuing and making better. To the review itself, though. The beginning - I ...

Part B is up, so I’m bumping the thread. Chapter One is being revised - taken off for now.

Hello! Notice how almost all the paragraphs of the chapter are one-liners? Well, those do get the plot across – the reader knows what’s happening, there’s a setting and we ...

Hello! - Quote: Nendo’s breathing came faster, in sharp pants that never seemed to force enough air into his lungs. Awkward wording – consider rephrasing (the “came faster”?) Quote: Strange, ...