Esmé

Quote: The faint light that glazed the room trickled through the glass ceiling and cast the table in a glowing purity. ‘it cast the table’? Quote: The glancing of this ...

Quote: lifted his heavy eyelids reluctantly, but, glancing over at the desk he realised his father must have finally gone to bed. What has one to do with the other? ...

More people will read it if you don't have to download it to do so. -elein

Quote: Bestion prowled through the forest, his eyes shut tight, his hands touching the floor, feeling the way. ‘Feeling the way’ sounds a bit awkward to me. ‘his eyes shut ...

Hi, welcome to YWS. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. Hope you have fun, -elein

First of all, thank you thank you thank you thank you for the critique and taking your time and reading what I wrote. I so appreciate it. Ah, and to ...

I think I promised you a critique, right? Well, here I am. I’ll be writing as I read: Quote: A sword formed by a veil of crimson light, wielded with ...

The Dame in Distress, lol. Absolutely fabulous in that hat, really. ^_^ Ah, yes, I almost forgot: 10/10

Ahh, Bartimaeus... Great book )I onlz read the first one=. Looking forward to the rest! -elein

Hi and welcome to YWS. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. Love fantasy also, lol. -elein

quote: But then that would cost me points. ... Only like 15 or something, come on...

Okay, so I couldn’t keep away. Lol. Quote: Garius Rabba sat, polishing his blade, eyes trained hard on something invisible to any around. ‘Eyes trained hard on’ - eyes can ...

Quote: My mother only snarled in response to my protests as she clawed at my curly russet hair with her nails. You have ‘only’ again. Quote: “You should be thankful ...

Okay, I have nothing to say (I don't critique poetry, just don't get it) that you should add a space after every comma. Cheers, elein

We can change the amount of letters?