Esmé

Angel - Yes, long it is, but I figured I don’t want to split it, and so I posted the whole thing. As to the intro - I wanted to ...

Loose, I think I’ll just echo your avatar - brilliant. So much for a constructive critique, yes? But there really wasn’t anything I could be nitpicky about, or in general ...

Stockmar, That is one long paragraph that you go there, seriously. I stared and stared at it before even reading your story, and… that is not a good sign. However, ...

LovableLittleSock, First of all, hello. That short inrto over, let’s move on to the mechanics of the crit: I’ll start out with a usual line-by-line one, and then’ll come any ...

enzoguy15, I was about to say - and squirm a bit while doing so - that my stuff is longer, and that there’s no need to worry about it, I ...

Ballroomdancer95, Welcome to YWS (it’s an awesome site!), but… I know that everyone wants to have their work critiqued - I do, too - but here at YWS we have ...

Banned, because there's a "Bella" in the "Twilight" series... (Hush about the "Esme", haha...)

Angel of Death, I’ll start out by saying that the text would be easier to read if it were spaced. Of course, that never stopped anyone if the story was ...

The pictures and captions are hilarious :)

Scasha, Well, I only read the rewrite of chapter one, so everything should be clear to me, yes? ^^ On with the critique, same rules as always. Quote: Suddenly, the ...

scasha, I didn’t read the original chapter, but I’ll critique this. As always, a line-by-line one will be followed by any impressions and comments that I might have. Edit: Damn, ...

Medusa, Hello. Was skimming through the Fiction forums, stumbled upon your story, and thought I’d critique. Anyway, first’ll come the line-by-line one, and then impressions, etc. Quote: On rotten

Hmm. Balding? Pale skin, too.

Muteman, Spacing is cool, yes. And so long as the text is good, who’d care for the length? Anyway, as always with my crits, first will come the irritating (I ...

Deleted.