Esmé

It wasn't bad - far from that. It's just that I keep comparing to the first installment... But you are a very good writer, and so I feel myself excused ...

Yes, it is much better now. Those asterisks - such tiny, tiny details - really do a lot, not only visually, but also content-wise. The reader no longer has the ...

Vernon, I did promise you a crit, no? Quote; The enclosure hummed with noise, limelight’s shone forth from neon lamps and various perfumes and other bodily smell emanated off the ...

lhighton, First of all, welcome to the site, though you cannot be called entirely new to it now, aye? Anyway, onward with your critique. Quote: Mr Howard was a fearsome ...

Rei, It seems that again we have the same problem. The piece is well written, though a few nitpicks will be listed, but it just doesn’t draw the reader in. ...

KJ, So I finally reached the point where I'll have to wait for the next installments with the rest. I can't say I'm to happy about it, really. And yes, ...

Well, I just read the above and it struck me that kitty is right. At some points I did indeed not feel that it was the 1800's. How that can ...

Bear - as always a tad bit late, but always better late than ever, yes? Quote: Please, just come to the doctors. This seems awkward, and just doesn’t fit. I ...

Bear - we meet once more, aye? Kudos to you for getting me interested! quote: The talk show was on teen health. (How ironic!) The text in parenthesis should be ...

Bear - day three, here I come. Yes, I always need the intros, but since that has been taken care of, let’s move on to the critique. Quote: This whole… ...

I pick up Agatha Christie only when I am particularly desperate. My mother loves her, so there are quite a lot of her books lying around in the house. It's ...

Bittersweet, So after that PMing spree I finally got to critiquing your story, aye? Quote: Addie’s breath was shivery as her eyes groped through the velvety darkness. Technical comment, though ...

Bear, Links in signatures do come in handy, do they not? That is how I got here^^ Quote: I had eaten two bowls – two hundred and forty calories – ...

Okay, here is Esme and her edits. But, the point of this is me telling you that you have an awesome story, and that I really enjoy reading your installments. ...

Ashley, So I couldn’t help myself, I admit. I came rushing to the next part as soon I saw it was up, despite the fact that I should get to ...