Esmé

It looks cute that way, heh. No, seriously, this is a good drawing. The only thing that I ever drew and that looked passable was a stickman. Lol.

Can the mod please delete this thread? P.S. I am so not cooperating.

I agree with Crysi and everyone before me. If you post something, make sure it is decipherable. You expect us to read it, you expect us to make a critique ...

Firstly, format (spaces between paragraphs, that is). quote: I came alive when someone comes inside but they see me for what I have become, a shell; then they are gone ...

Stop it. Write something, you'll get better. Did you stop because of my critique? Come on, it wasn't that bad. It really wasn't. If you are trying my consience, then ...

WHy? WHY? Did you expect us to write: It was Great! No mistakes! Brilliant! Well thats not the way it goes. You wanna be a better writer, then take advice ...

Hi lightofmeridian, nice meeting you. This is a great site =D, hope you'll have fun. Can't wait to see your posts, -elein

Probably all your mistakes have been pointed out, so I'm not going to repeat anything. I just wanted to say that I liked it xD, even if at times it ...

Quote: Derren held it there for many moments, waiting, waiting. I think that this sentence is correct, but wouldn’t it sound better if it was ‘a couple of moments’ instead ...

Okay, I'll reread my work tomorrow, I don;t have the time now. (This post is for you to know I didn't ignore it, lol)

Oh god, I forgot to format AGAIN... Sorry to all whom I wrote about formatting, lol...

Format into paragraphs, proofread then I shall return. Just couldn't help myself. That was te first comment I ever got on YWS. Also from Phorcys :) As to your text ...

One more comment: With such a short piece of writing, it's hard to write a critique... Maybe you should post more of the story?

Also, how could they 'happen to notice the house' so suddenly if it's been in their neighborhood for ages, being so old?

Corrected - thanks for telling me.