Esmé

Hello! That first paragraph – I was taken back by it, a bit, and then had to reread to finally see the tale/tail thing. That last was inattentiveness on my ...

Hello, Doing my own quid pro quid, ha, though for now only the first part of the chapter. ** Quote: Nendo stood in the midst of the bustling crowd, his ...

Thank you for the review! There are three character: the governess (Lady Arianna, also known as “Rinnie” by Anat), Anat (alternatively called Her Imperial Highness – she’s ten years old) ...

Blink, I usually stay as far away from story forms that are not „normal” in the general, old-fashioned sense of the word, so: quotes, actual full paragraphs, etc. But I ...

Lily, Thank you for the posted thoughtful comments. Again, the minor changes will be made immediately, while the rest I’m copying to a separate folder – at around chapter 5, ...

Thank you for the terrific reviews of: lilymoore,TL G-Wooster, Bickazer and mikedb1492. Down for editing.

Lily and mike, Thank you for the terrific critiques, I really do appreciate you going over my piece. Right now I’m done with some of the minor issues (rephrasing, and ...

Being rewritten as of 18/06

Rhythm I begin to read, and there’s something I can’t really place my finger on, or whatever the expression is. The sentences themselves are fine, no real need to rephrase ...

Angie, Hello and welcome to YWS. This is a terrific writing site, horribly addicting, but there’s also the other side of the medal – to post any story/poem at all, ...

Hello, Welcome to YWS. I hope you’ll find a nice and snuggly spot here, and stay forever and after. Quote: The Thursday afternoon cup of coffee tickled my bowels and ...

In terms of a hello, I’m all for starting out with “the king” and ending with a nice forceful “the king” (with an emphasis on those two occasions, ‘cause it ...

Dash not Cat Dash galore. Dashes are cool, nice, whatever, but in a sensible amount. Cats like litters, not dashes. And that first paragraph, well, has a lot lot lot ...

Hello, I’ll be generally avoiding line by line quotes, but probably from time to time I’ll pop something in. Introduction. Not very breathtaking, not very captivating. The semicolon in the ...

Hello, It’s May and tomorrow’ Mother’s Day, which means I’ll be standing in a horribly long line at the flowershop, trying to decide what flower to get exactly. That one, ...