-
Re: Dragged Down by the Stone - Part One: You've Got to Be Crazy
Hey Spotswood! I was looking forward to reading this after our wee chats :) So firstly, I love the opening paragraph, it immediately hooks me into the character's turbulent mind, ...
Aug 8, 2013 -
Re: Culture
Hi there! Wow, this is really interesting. Just a couple of key points to consider: TITLE: I think the title would work better as "Culture: Equal Progression". To have it ...
Aug 8, 2013 -
Re: Bored Games
Hi there :) Wow, great piece, with a very admirable premise as well. And can I just say how much I love the title! Brilliant. So just a couple of ...
Aug 6, 2013 -
Re: A timeless encounter
Hi Sanju, Wow, what a powerful piece of poetry, I really, truly loved it. Especially because you haven't constrained yourself with a particular rhyming scheme. I absolutely adore the lines: ...
Aug 6, 2013 -
Re: The System-Prologue
This is a really effective prologue, and there’s barely anything wrong with it, just a few grammatical slips. The concept’s really good! I like how the first sentence is dialogue. ...
Jul 4, 2013 -
Re: The Fourth Wall~ Chapter I
Wow! I really loved this. Effective first sentence, the opening few paragraphs build tension in a way that really draws the reader in. For this sentence though: ‘and for the ...
Jul 2, 2013