Emerson

LOet him take control. typo! My-name-is-Cady I'm not sure why you use dashes, but if its to give affect, the word 'hissed' does that for you so no need to ...

I'll back off on the grammar for now, you are fourteen :-D But the only grammar edit I have, is that when a new character speaks make a new paragraph, ...

The man [comma] Greg Thron [comma] was assassinated five years ago. The man, and Greg Thorn, are both the same thing which is an appositive so there should be commas. ...

We're off with an interesting start! I liked the letter... I must confess that I am also rather angry at the entire world now, also, perhaps some may say, for ...

It's an interesting work. I like the idea of it, you can sense a plot but its....hard to follow. I only have two suggestions. The truth is the truth is ...

Rather catching, I'd say. It’s the kind of darkness writers love to write about and shiver as they imagine it, but it’s the kind of story you can’t get too ...

I loved the intro. Very impressive! You do a very good job with creating the character and setting it up. I'd love to see more and to know where you ...

One more thing I noticed while out critiquing! I talked to Jack about this but I'm not sure if its a forum problem, or a computer problem. When you are ...

This is really long. but, I'll get as much done as I can for now! So far, rather interesting! He didn’t believe her statement, mostly because he didn’t want to ...

Now that I'm back from my absence! (life is such a busy thing...) I see all the new changes, so nice! Thank you Nate :-D Yeah, I can tell the ...

I'm not sure what you mean by 'classic,' like....old? Because classic isn't really a style. Classic literature, by definition I suppose, is something that is from any time period but ...

I need more help plotting >< (Yes, I'm plotting a head of time) I at least have to outline an over view, otherwise, I'll get stuck at one point and ...

As you know Jack, I'm in it :-) (I woke up this morning and the first thing I did was sign up....) I'm doing a vampire story that I've had ...

Hey snoink :-D I haven't read over all your critique (I know I'm lazy!)But I have already worked a little on the beginning, so don't worry about that being boring. ...

It was a sunny day for October, not too hot that the heat permeated every pore and cell so that movement was made impossible; no, there was a slight breeze ...