Emerson

Hello! You have a great theme going in this poem, fighting darkness with the light and not being consumed by it, but the direction you take it is a bit ...

Well I cannot help but be apart of the great echo and say that you need to punctuate this poem. This poem seemed like one of those things you write ...

Honestly, I don't know what to say. Other than a practice in alliteration and playfulness (as you admit) this didn't have much of a purpose, so I'm left clueless as ...

Before, I would have written ‘fear itself’, if I wanted to sound smart, you know, quoting someone important. I feel like this sentence has too many commas. I write one ...

Hello there! This is me being more nitpicky that I should but I think you should take "A Coming of Age Poem" out of your thread title. It ruins the ...

Dark eyes can shout and stretch of death; it is an inconclusive blessing that the birds and bees feast upon the instrument, for these beast save us from what the ...

This is my first Critique! Yay! I hope I do good... Quote: After a heavy lunch at his at his uncle’s farmhouse you repeated 'as his' Quote: He inquired from ...

Well! If your age truly is 12, and I have no reason to doubt that, I have to applaud you for your skillful use of the English language and your ...

Hello Hopeful! I second Dommy on the change of point of view thing. You do it a lot, and it makes it hard to understand what is going on. If ...

The first thing I noticed about this poem was that the only form of punctuation you have in it was the comma in the first line. Never forget, poetry needs ...

Hullo Burgs! I really love the first handful of lines in your poem, how you talking about the thoughts "pulsating, throbbing, aching". Though they were all semi-bland words, it seemed ...

5/10 because I can tell it is an eye but I don't really know what.. and the animation seems stiff.

10/10 because Start Trek is cool!

Hello KayC! This poem is challenging for me to relate to because I don't have a sister. I've never experienced any of the things you are talking about. I think ...

There's even a shower . I feel spoiled.