Emerson

he he supplies marijuana Typo When he arrives home to his camper van, and sees his parents sitting in their broken chairs and sees his parents wearing their tattered clothing, ...

The beginning is odd. But it's you. So... Yeah. I liked it, I guess. It's kind of one of those things that you read because it is good, not because ...

Sex? Who knows. They always rate things oddly, and if you notice, the reasons to rate things certain ways changes like wild. The f' word now slips freely into PG13 ...

I really liked this. My only suggestion (as I can't think of anything else, or any problem I have with it) is that I think it would look smoother if ...

Bienvenue et Bonjour ;-) A friend of Shafter's is a friend of mine! If you need help around the site, have any questions, or would like a critique on something, ...

I liked it, but I think it needs something added to it. I can only guess at what you were writing about, which disappointed me a little. It was good, ...

I felt like, at the beginning, you just went to Rhyme Zone and used everything you could that rhymed with "tree". You have no rhyme scheme--and yet you rhyme? Rhyming ...

Didn't really do much for me? I'm confused to why you have a whole paragraph before hand and then "fade into" a poem, so to speak. The poem had some ...

The idea is nice, but I have some problems with it. This came off real "grocery list" like. I am, I will, you have, we are this/that. There was no ...

It repeats to much, and has no punctuation. (Unless you count the one period at the very end.) Those are my biggest complaints. Since you yourself say you are new ...

I'm with Fand, and Snoink. Scrap it, rewrite it, and make sure you punctuate it. (This will help you: Poetry & Punctuation ) The rhyme scheme was way too simple, ...

Colly covered some good topics. Not to contradict her but simply give another opinion... Shaking hands that no longer work, Yes, at first this line caught me off guard. You ...

If they even give a eulogy at a funeral for someone like me, I would be amazingly surprised. - Rosen I don't know who, but I do hope they say ...

I never really saw anything in the shadows. Darkness was in the shadows. But I was never scared of what might be there. - Clive They never stayed in the ...

hmmm I like it. Very witty? I'd probably pick it up. It makes me think of perhaps a crime novel...where the truth is more convenient than the lie, of course. ...