Emerson

Cheers! Welcome to YWS, What can I call you? Jo? If you have any questions about the site or need help finding your way around, feel free to Pm me! ...

I'm not sure what I think of the two things together. I immidiatly think of some fantasy novel which has the elements as powers, the main character with fire...I wouldn't ...

This is really touching. It's kind of rough for me to read--my parents got divorced, but I was only five. For a story, this is Ok, it's in a really ...

I don't think this is poetry....Prose=paragraphs, poetry=stanzas. *moved to other fiction*

This isn't bad! I think I'd want more, more meaning behind it, etc, but the way it was written I felt like I was falling--which is good. Keep it up! ...

wow Nate.... That has to be the COOLEST thing ever! You deserve many hugs, and more post cards.

Very interesting. First off I'll hit all the grammar bumps :D Distant sounds of cars passing, even at this hour, seem muted by the oppressive darkness; sounding hollower and lonely. ...

Welcome to the site! heheh, Meep gave oodles of good tips for grammar. Something I've been told to read, and haven't gotten around to, is Strunk and Whites book on ...

Welcome to the forums! I'm glad to see people who want to improve, because I love helping people get better! It makes me so happy to see someones writing develop, ...

“Lawrence called; he’ll pick you up at eleven.” It's weird for me to see a semi colon in a quote? Your metaphor with the book (almost like an open book, ...

I'm never one for nature poetry, but a suggestion is to add more imagery, more sensory to it. What do the flowers smell like? look like? Feel like? How is ...

has lied to me, and lies I held so dear. I didn't like the last line of your chorus. You already mentioned lies, I think you should end on something ...

The first stanza started really well, with the pain of a cut and everything, I could feel it, but after that it started to go down hill... The big issue ...

It's a bump, so it seems? Ah well. Brilliance, I must say. Even if it is simple and has no message behind it, it's perfect for that. Brilliant.

This is actually very cute! Even with a simple rhyme scheme, and the simple theme, it's perfect. You are my night light, Make the monsters scream. I agree with Meep, ...