Emerson

I'm not really sure what to say about this. You wrote about a fire? What is there behind this, where is the meaning? I can't really get at it. Your ...

This is... hm. It's too abstract. You're working with emotions, or something. People, and what they are doing, and where they are going. I can really only guess because it ...

Don't forget to capitalize the pronoun I. I'm not entirely sure what this is about, or what emotion you are trying to convey/make me feel, so it's hard for me ...

This is interesting. I really like it, but I want to push it into form, with proper line breaks, punctuation, style, etc. Currently it's just in weird paragraphs with strange ...

The first stanza was beautiful with the imagery of the little girls. I don't like it much though because you mix moon, and sunshine, so I can't really tell which ...

I would say you should cut the first stanza all together. It's all telling, and the rest of the poem is better in comparison. As to the rest of the ...

Hah, the very fact that you "never would have thought" shows that it's tacked on afterwards... It almost makes me mad, thinking about it. I don't read HP, so it ...

Light, blinding, surrounded him Why not say "blinding light"? at the feel of the wind beneath his wings once more. This bothers me because I feel like something should follow ...

I don't think it's good for him to be gay, even for gay rights. It's almost like she added it in as an after thought thinking, "Hey, maybe I'll get ...

Heh, Kitty already got to the punctuation. All the commas don't really work in it, try to think of how you would read it and what kind of punctuation would ...

So is she saying, "Yes, he is gay!" or "The fanfiction says he is!" I don't understand... Either way that's ridiculous/hilarious.

I have rape scenes in mine, too! Lol. Sorry, I'll give help. I suppose you would write it like any sex scene. It kind of depends what your focus is ...

Well just keep in mind the rules. ;-) try to critique at least two things for every one thing you post. Ah, well, here this link will help: Before you ...

Welcome to the site. ^_^ If you have any questions about something or need help finding your way around the site, feel free to Pm me. Or, you could take ...

How do you link an URL with the topic name? Do you mean to say, how do you link an URL with in the topic name? If so, I do ...