Emer

I concur! The simplicity here is a nod to your skill; anything more complex, or longer, might have ended up muddy. Lovely, Bjorn. ^_^

at that dirt-dirty crossing with not a nothing in sight. I love this line. In fact, I love this poem. I love you! I love life. ^_^ See how happy ...

Bit of a confusing piece, and very purple... Line by line? Forsooth! The sky flashes Zeus’s golden lightning. This is a little ambiguous; how can a noun verb another noun ...

I think Suz just about hit my suggestions right on the head--it's not a bad poem, it's just a little generic, a little bland. I think if you polished it ...

For an eleven year old, this is quite good; however, please pay attention to where you break your lines. There should be a reason for everything in a poem--every single ...

I'm afraid I'm with Cade--you should listen to her! This is a prime example of navelgazing, and while as poetry it wasn't that poor a sample, it... just doesn't hold ...

The daughters of Zeus may be too fickle to love or trust. Truly beautiful, and--best of all--only one of the stunning lines found herein. Morrow said it best, I think. ...

Hello, my love! I remember you telling me about this; I thought I'd take a look myself. Countless scribes have told the stories of men who struggled to return home, ...

Goodness, this is ancient! Regardless, I do like it quite a bit, especially: You are young, you are fresh, you are ripe for the picking. And oh! If you would ...

:lol: This is so old--yet still funny, Jacko Smacko. Bravo?

I remember really liking this story because it was the first thing I had ever read that showed me how a story could be something more than just a simple ...

Just curious--why did you italicize this entire poem? Was there a stylistic purpose? If you don't have a reason better than 'It looks cool!' then you need to get rid ...

I wouldn't recommend him for most of the younger writers on this site, as he has an almost impenetrable style and is far too fond of writing whole passages in ...

What? There's no more? I just read all of Year 1 and this in one sitting, Saint! I demand more! *pounds fists on table like toddler* In all honesty though, ...

1. Your title sounds very amateur, and actually puts one off reading this poem. If you had had at least two critiques already, I would have gladly passed this by. ...