Ember

Thanks, Mattemus! I'll get on those corrections! :D Thanks for the review, and for all of your encouragement! -Ember

Thanks, XxxDo! I'll get on those corrections, and I await your arrival at Chapter III! ;)

Wow, Matthemus! I'm flattered! Thanks so much for your kind words- I'll get onto the third chapter right away! :D

Thanks, mikepyro! I'll try to improve my skills in describing the fight scenes. And thanks for the compliment! :) -Ember

Wow, Mars! Thanks so much! I'll definitely get onto editing this! EDIT: Turns out that metronomes were invented in the early 1900's, and this takes place in 1853. Oops- thanks ...

I can't express my thanks enough, Mars- I'm so glad that you like my story! :) I'll get on those corrections right away, and I'll work diligently about improving my ...

I thought that the edited version was a lot better in the reaction that Darry had to Ralph's death. Instead of the generic 'Why?' he actually pounded his fist into ...

I fixed those- I made my voice a little more active. Thanks so much for your help, Aero! And I'll edit the -kun thing, explaining honorifics in the beginning. :) ...

Wow, aeroman! I can't thank you enough! You really did more than I was expecting! XD Things to clear up: The -kun thing is an honorific in the Japanese language. ...

Thanks so much, XxxDo! I'll get on those right away! However, as for the -kun thing, in all of the manga that I've read, you don't capitalize honorifics in Japanese. ...

Oh wow. XD I didn't even notice that bit about 'taking the position of a father'. I'll erase that. As for the past tense thing, I'll make it prominent in ...

Rosey, Thanks so much for the review! I really appreciate it! Things to clear up: When I was describing Nakayama Rai, I actually did give the meaning of his name, ...

Wow, thank you so much for this! I really appreciate your constructive criticism and I will get right to editing. Thanks again! -Ember

I couldn't spot any mistakes either on this one! Well done! This will certainly be a good reference for when anyone else needs to write a query letter! -Ember