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Re: 2010 #1
I got through six paragraphs of edits, and I tried and tried, but the story just wasn't really grabbing my attention. I think you should just add more about the ...
Jun 26, 2009 -
Re: Mary the Slave girl
The night was dark, darker than normal. What makes this night so special? A young girl in a dirty, worn out dress dragged her feet across the fields, heading towards ...
Jun 20, 2009 -
Re: The Descent, Part One, Revised
removed by author.
Jun 19, 2009 -
Re: My Sole Reason For Suicide [Chapter One. Kitten]
When I smile, it's fake. There is nothing wrong with this first sentence, but maybe elaboarte a little bit more on why your MC smiles fakely? Like, this MC is ...
Jun 19, 2009 -
Re: The Descent Part I
Removed + Locked.
Jun 19, 2009 -
Re: Never like a farytale (edited)
Y'ello. I'm Ellie and I will be your reviewer for today. Love sucks. It’s not real and it sucks. Learn this now. I did. Okay. This First Paragraph is a ...
Jun 17, 2009 -
Re: Werewolf
. The noise of the clicking clock echoed through the empty home. A single snore came with every minute that passed. A boy released these hallow, moan, grunts. At fifteen, ...
Jun 16, 2009 -
Re: Taking it back
It was scary as hell the day that America got bombed. I can't remember the date but the day is a vivid image in my head. I am assuming you ...
Jun 15, 2009 -
Re: [Deleted]
[Deleted at author's request]
Jun 15, 2009 -
Re: The Plague Driven. Prologue
This is a very good, Well-written story. However, you are lacking description and exictement. I would like to see more of it. Perhaps If you could try to stretch it ...
Jun 15, 2009 -
Re: For the Unseen - One
This was a very good piece. I do have a few problems, though. in some parts you are gramatically incorrect or confusing. For Instance : It’s easy to understand why ...
Jun 14, 2009 -
Re: [Deleted]
[Deleted at Author's request]
Jun 14, 2009
