Elephant

I ws wandering around the pages, and found this. I know it's sort of old, and I am commiting Necromancing but I like this. Anything induced by drugs has got ...

Welcome Joe! I'm not a particulary old member but if you have any questions you can PM me, areida07 (she's very nice), Caligula's Launderette (she's helped me a lot) or ...

oooh... Dreamtheater...I think...certainly not I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday by Wham or who ever that band was...

hehheh...very nice Forest. I especially like how all your rhyme worked. hehheh...Trolls. I wonder what their advice would be? EL

I know a worse version. :D I like it though. and your topic is on FIRE :twisted: (there is no fire emoticon so the devil smiley will have to work) ...

YAY...formatted. To answer your question, yes the last sentance is clear. Actually I quite like it, its very descriptive. EL

reformat the begining... Dungeons and dragons by morning, Chess club meetings by afternoon, And if he enough time at the end of the day he'd sit down and watch his ...

I agree with Chevy, that the imagery was cloudy, but in a way, like a cloudy day gave it an interesting light. I especially liked the second stanza. Aromas of ...

ooh...suffiently captivated. I didn't find any grammatical mistakes while I was reading, so really all I have to say is that the new version is far better than the old, ...

Nice start. I have to agree with Jacquie on the descriptions, spice them up a bit. I like the first part with Gillian and Bisset, but the part at the ...

Very interesting Griffin, I especially liked the quote and the narrators answer to it. I think Boni_Bee and Jigsaw got all the grammatical errors. I have to agree with Jigsaw ...

I suggest reformating this here, so it's easier to read; break it up into paragraphs, that are separated by line breaks. I like this, and with your cliff hanger it ...

Thanks to everyone who has read this so far. Kudos to you. All comments and crits welcome. EL Firséd: A Tale of Evermore IV. A Stranger in a Strange Land ...

Thanks for the input, I have to look into cleaning up those descriptions when I edit. EL

thank you, Strike one was trying to find out at school. Maybe I should change that. EL