Ego

I think, instead of focusing on the old man, it would be cool to focus on the GIRL. Too many stories try to make these kinds of people the victim, ...

Since guys would almost always INSIST that they don't "cry," I would suggest describing the presence of tears on his cheeks, in his eyes, etc, rather than saying he was ...

No, then it would be a slight cousin to my own story...

Well Kay, if you gave us a list of characters to work with, as well as the time period, etc, that your story takes place in, we might be better ...

part of it's up right the action/adventure section I'm sure my chronicles have been around longer than most...almost five years!

I tend to write action stuff, especially my currently 130 paga novel (in progress) Chronicles of the Dhampir... Modern Vampires tied in with mythology (of vampires)