Ego

Hey, I'm Bobo, and I'm pretty much the coolest person in the world. I mean, just check me out! No, seriously, check me out. Anyways, many welcomes to the YWS, ...

question; why are we even talking about a different writing site here at YWS?

Foreign weirdos. HEY....I'm....not offended.

you're gettin' Hunter down pretty good Bobo, keep it up.

:wink: yes, yes I am

^ ^ ^ Loser :wink:

feedback

fall

rock

nothing important, just talking about how Dusky's frog swallowed her pen... EBM, yeah that's what I figured...

Lovely. Simply lovely. I like the way you present the characters, especially in the opening lines. I think, however, that your dialogue could use some work. The language is too ...

yowza, that was low Jack...

Nate's got a life too...he still provides for all his children--er....members

thanks much EBM!

not sure I got that... It doesn't matter, it's going to go out a form or another....?