Ego

If Monty was shot so many times, how is he able to lift children and run? Is this all apart of him being the hero? He's a superhero--his musculature becomes ...

It was bleeding from a missing ear and It had no fingernails, but surrounding its’ wrists, like cuffs, were a ring of claws, growing from the skin. There was blood ...

My general impression of the piece so far is that the tone is too modern. The phrases you use all sound like they were written from the point of view ...

On perspective: for a story written from the first person perspective, this piece reads very impersonally. That, combined with the change in perspective later in the story (which, honestly, doesn't ...

Um... is this the Hart I think you're talking about? XD Duh. Grif! You need a character other than yourself :P

First and foremost; format. Please do so ^_^ Secondly, more of a note than a criticism; your style is excellent! Your opening paragraph is quite good, pulling me--the reader--in very ...

“I can’t believe we’re finally going. I remember spending hours on the phone with you while we tried to get our parents to agree to this, and now the moment ...

If you wrote like people spoke, it would be terrible. No...it'd be realistic. That's a concept...listening to real people talk and then completely ignoring the fact that REAL people said ...

He thrust the disc into my hand. For the first time I noticed an Asian cast to his features. I guessed him to be about forty-five, and Japanese or perhaps ...

It's a little bit predictable, so I think you should shake things up a bit. Maybe throw in a few tragedies or something. Other than that, I really enjoyed reading ...

All the boys I know (excluding my brother and 5 or 6 nerdy friends :)) dislike reading and writing and anything disconnected with playing games in general. They also can't ...

Let me paint you a nice little picture of myself, so that you can all frown, and turn away, mildly disgusted. I'm the kid you see standing on the street ...

Ooooh, ouch. We're the old men now, Nate. People are starting to not get MC Hammer jokes. This makes me one sad panda.

So far, I'm failing miserably. True story.

A "man" who jiggles and oozes? Hardly macho type. Make way for the real men around here, junior. Precisely, Gal--make way, I'm walkin' here.