EERC

I think this is an interesting and passive beggining. I personally like that, but a little more depth added to this first chapter would not be bad. Keep going.

Interesting... try not to repeat the characters' names so much.

Your plot sounds interesting but you better take a careful look at your stuff before you post it.

You narrate very well, but the ending seemed a little confusing. However maybe you can make a whole story out of it if you want (Trust me, I did it ...