DukeofWonderland

I feel the first para had a lot of punctuation a little over whelming. at times. :) And when we meet under the frozen oak tree I'll i'll smile and ...

a tyrant now rotting away rotting away sounds too harsh ....A web of lies without any love I like this description I dedicate this writing Decadent, hollow, lifeless writing I ...

The apple never falls far from the tree, I like this proverb and the context you placed it in. How run my chances at the growth of either? I had ...

[quote="Ahmadblues"/] Perhaps my most repeated thought of wisdom during my time in office. 2 mys in one statement, reduce the first to 'the most' ....then it has 'my wisdom'....oh, and ...

-spot reserved- Little caught up now, I'll get right back at ya.

In the early hours of the morning, when the sky was lit from I think by works better here the sun even before it had poked This word seems out ...

Lord I've seen the word Like too many times on one thread- I'll never see the word in the same way again :P

The biggest risk I ever took was going to a pizza store on a Friday after school. i think it works better if you put the Friday after 'after school' ...

The ghost of the memories envelop me --a blanket, a comfort, like tuning my memory to the proper station. I fade reverse into the beat of my childhood. Nostalgia. My ...

[ Awake the sleeping children, Open all closed eyes, Kill all beautiful dreams. You have to wake up! The grammar seems odd and the tense seems to be changing. I ...

what? Your name isn't Ahmad? Mac- who? ... so I am very confused today. :shock: Now, his fate was sealed, as if it were possible to put it inside an ...

........And on her moon like face, are streams of black silk flowing down her rosy cheeks. This description in one sentence seemed very long. If the effect was to show ...

The secrets behind me. A my- seems to hold the continuity better tight smile and warm eyes, No one knows what I hide- could work here. See the secrets is ...

I'm guessing you wrote a blank verse, but being honest, usually blank verses have a way of going along or 'rhyming' and I don't seem to feel as much in ...

Drury Lane She’s addicted to the swings the blades make. swings the blades make? She lies there, still, watching the unchanging anti-clockwise The description seemed a little too long, sort ...