Dubaian

Remember that sometimes when you use a spellcheck that you may have typed a word correctly, but not the correct word for the sentence. Proof-reading helps to ensure you have ...

My apologies for the time lag, it has been a rather busy half a year, but I shall endure. I'm taking all of your points into consideration, and dont worry ...

Well, I'd consider Smeagol one villain with split personalities. He's a good villain because he's got a good and bad side. The thing that makes him the villain is that ...

Currently just a Synopsis, I know it isnt much yet, but I will add in the chapters here when I write them. Enjoy my Sci Fi Comedy :P. Spatial Awareness ...

Hi, I agree with Lauren on this one. Very interesting characters and setting. The dialogue initially had me confused on who was who between the two men, but I got ...

Something that reminds me of the part you explain about killing off characters and how you shouldnt kill alot of them off at once. If youve read Elizabeth Moon's Vatta's ...

Thanks very much for the review suzu. I was thinking about those commas before but I thought it was meant to be a full stop, will find something on dialogue ...

Open to suggestions for title. My own current (and first actual) work in progress, critique, but with reason. Chapter One The soft grass underfoot, the smell of flowers and the ...

Reread the rules stickies before you post. As of December, 5 reviews of other peoples work before you even begin posting your own. Interesting, however, I found there were numerous ...

Read forum rules. As of December, minimum of 5 reviews per piece you post, BEFORE you post.

All of my limbs were numb, leaving me nothing. Literally, nothing inside of me This could and probably should be wrapped up into one sentence. All I know is that ...

I believe it was implied with: you’re the only child That they are just pretend sisters. the sword in his chest bothered me. The word 'bothered' does not seem to ...

goes straight through I think 'pierced' could have replaced those three words there, a better descriptive word for the situation in my opinion. though the would fiercely The should be ...

And only a few hundred are still alive... Thus the human race will be extinct very soon. I believe my understanding of a sustainable population for an entire race has ...

I read the first chapter but did not continue to the second. This needs a lot of work (Emphasising a lot). Upon reading the first chapter, there were a couple ...