Dreamwalker

you're very jetty with your sentences. It would make more sense if they flowed together more and made it seem less robotic and more humanly, kind of like the character ...

First off, i will start with my general opinion of the story. I thought it was fairly well written. the idea is somewhat catchy and i did enjoy reading it ...

Definitly a great improvement! Very enjoyable and you still kept the same passion that the first version had. I can really tell the difference between adam and landon now and ...

Just a few mistakes. Nothing to serious. i found the storyline to be kind of rushed and not very descriptive, of course i could understand this for most of the ...

There is a few grammer mistakes that could have been fixed, and a few parts that are unclear like the names of the characters and such. i got lost differentiating ...