Demoness

Hm.. i think this piece has got potenital. It's powerful and full of imagery.. Though it's a bit much as it is.. try split the text in to stanzas and ...

Hha, aside from the br things that were quite annoying and killed my eyes when I tried to find the next line this was pretty good.. (If you wanna remove ...

Hah, you're poems are like entire stories! But I like them, they're always so powerful! This one had great imagery and I like how you involve religion without making it ...

Neeh, the ending's so sad! Bu-hu.. But I liked it though, it was sweet but touching! Please ass some punctuation though, I get so exhausted without dots cause i forget ...

Naoow, this is so sad! I feel so sorry for the little boy.. or big boy I donno ^^ Great imagery and eeh, some rhymes were a slight bit forced ...

Oh my god! This was SOO touching.. seriously I wanted to cry at the last line.. SO SAD! And the memories.. and your imagery.. Gosh it all seemed so real ...

Wow, for being your first post this is quite amazing! You could polish it up for sure but still, the flow was great and you know how to use punctuation ...

So this has got pontenital but you've got some serious polishing to do before that. * Capitals for god sake! * Punctuation.. There are WAY too few dots and commas.. ...

Haha, yeeh you must have been depressed, cause this was quite depressing. But in a really, really good way cause I loved it. Awesome imagery and brr.. I got the ...

Woooow, this does need quite much work.. The entire thing is just REALLY messy right now and need both structure and punctuation and capitals. The content though is very good ...

AOow, I agree with the RainPainter.. this was quite depressing but not in a bad way. Any kind of emotion you manage to conjure inside someone is good! "If it ...

Hmm so this was both simple and sweet. I like the how it was so quick and short but managed to capture so many emotions. One thing though... you've split ...

Haha, this is so amazing! Such an original idea, I love the imagery and how you manage to turn each fruit to stand for a part of your life and ...

Ooh my god, I loved the former version of this poem.. and this one is even better!!! Just really.. eeh AMAZING, BRILLIANT! I mean.. It's so touching, and deep and ...

"Running? Why am I running?" I answered, blood running. "I run because What they did." - shouldn't it be.. because OF what they did. "Who's they?" the little boy asked. ...