z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


DelanieHeart

  • Poetry » Narrative, General
    Re: Demon Dancer

    Miraculous hands cut the strings That bound her in a dance not her own. The song was silenced that demons sing Strings and sing doesn't rhyme and this part just ...

    May 31, 2011

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General
    Re: "F" = Failure

    My stomach is turning, spinning very fast. The "very" in this line ruins the flow. Perhaps choose a more advanced word My head is pounding, like a bomb about to ...

    Mar 10, 2011

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General
    Re: Self-Actualization

    First things first before I begin my review. It's unusual and not encouraged to left your font, putting it at such a small size too. It makes it a pain ...

    Mar 10, 2011

  • Poetry » Other, General
    Re: Love To Be.

    And i'd like to believe that this love will be. Capitlize the "I" in I'd and put a comma after "be" instead of a period So you can sing sweet ...

    Mar 10, 2011

  • Poetry » Narrative, General
    Re: The Six String

    A village with no music is empty The gloom of no known expression is here No known is hard to say and it disrupts the flow Alas a device was ...

    Mar 9, 2011

  • Poetry » Other, General
    Re: A Light Where There is Darkness

    A golden lining on a black sun is a special occasion marveled at by many. This is my favorite stanza you did and I like it. The poem is very ...

    Mar 9, 2011

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General
    Re: My Dieing Thoughts

    Okay, no hard feelings, Unun, but you spelt "dieing" wrong. It's "dying"... Just pointing that out ;) My mother walks; eyes glazed Stuck behind invisible haze It seems like there ...

    Mar 9, 2011

  • Poetry » Other, General
    Re: In a minute

    When the clock hits two I can tell you This line seems short compared to the first one... 250 babies breath their first 113 will starve and thirst I dunno ...

    Mar 9, 2011

  • Poetry » Narrative, General
    Re: The Homeless Man Who's Always at Home

    He sits on the street, owns none but a guitar, The word "none" in here doesn't really fit. You're talking about material so perhaps change the word And a knapsack, ...

    Mar 9, 2011

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General
    Re: One in a million

    I seem just another girl This line flows awkward together and is slightly confusing wearing worn out jeans, having big dreams, living in my own world. I know I ain’t ...

    Mar 9, 2011

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General
    Re: Don't You Love?

    You are the charmer The one who lures Innocent hearts into your trap Too loooong You know your way in You’ve got every map Don’t you love? You are deceitful ...

    Mar 9, 2011

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General
    Re: Stars in the fallen sky

    I’d like to be a star in the fallen sky, Watch the world change as time passes by. To be a burning bolt of eternal fire, Be the item of ...

    Mar 9, 2011

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General
    Re: Fairytale

    Hand in his Warm, damp, and firm. Fingers curl. Lips upturn into a crooked smile. Blue birds sing, sun shines. Like any cliche fairytale of young exuberant romance, This seems ...

    Mar 9, 2011

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General
    Re: Black Hole

    There's a black where there should be a beat, Take out the "a". There's a black what? Eating all my feelings, emotions... Causing me to stagger, stumble, and die, Feeling ...

    Mar 9, 2011

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General
    Re: The meaning of being Pretty

    Being pretty Doesn’t mean super skinny, Amen with a waist the size of a twig. Pretty isn’t about your skin tone, Racism is big in my school or what colour ...

    Mar 9, 2011


You can not put the entire Bee Movie in the quote generator.
— alliyah