Deifyance

Wonderful, a bit confusing at first, but it made sence at the end. Wonderful writing! (Hurry up and post chap 2!!) :P :D ;) Looking foreward to it. The only ...

I thought it was pretty good, you definetly have talent! I like Sci-Fi, so I try--as hard as it may be, to review as much Sci-Fi as possible. I must ...

Thank you, and I hate commas. Again, I wrote it in 10 mins and barely edited it. And the bone-white thing is sopposed to be repeated. Note: its not a ...

the person behind the story contest Note: I wrote this in about 10 mins, so please realize this is NOT my best work. :D :P other than that, thanks! A ...

Whoa, I don't even know what to say. You write very uniquely (sp) your very creative and I like that. This must've taken some time to come up with. It's ...

Wow, I haven't read any of them, but now im going to. :D i have to say, this was absolutely awesome! Keep 'em coming! Now im going to go read ...

I thought it was a pretty good prologue. It seems to run a little fast and have some extra detail here, and not enough detail there. I liked the ending ...

Awesome! I'm hooked, Waiting for the next few. :D Im not gunna review 'cause it looks like it has already been done. All I can say is keep going, don't ...

I agree with CeUpOnAtIm3Xo, it moves a bit fast for my liking, and you might want to disperse the detail on MAtt a little instead of putting it all in ...

Awesome! and I liked the description of the money, everyone thinks specifing the amount of money is a waste. Well I don't I think it brings the peice even more ...

Well, i don't know what all the others are thinking. (no offence intended) I personally liked the extra detail, it gave it character. I imagined it as in a movie, ...

No, no. You're here to learn. I absolutely suck at spelling and grammar. but I'm learning, mostly from this site. :D just give it some time.

keep it coming :D I'm a fan!

Hm, this does sorely remind me of 'Twilight' gone bad. Have you read it? All-in-all, awesome start, just a bit more detail on the chars. Looking foreward to the next ...

[s]strikethrough = take out[/s] Underline = Put in/Replace I thought it was charming. I like the journal format of it. The only thing i would liek to see more of ...