Crysi

There's a reason you hate rhyming poetry. There are a lot of forced rhymes in here, and it just doesn't work. Drop it. As for the subject itself... Just another ...

This is... cool, and I really like the focus on "you" and the imagery and such, but it needs a better punch for the ending. What's your point? What's the ...

Crysi downs her chocolate milk, then gets up and starts dancing in the middle of the room. She ignores all the stares and just has a good time.

Jo glanced briefly at the clothes Kev left. If he thinks I'm gonna wear those... She yawned, stretching out on the couch and pulling the blanket up over her shoulders. ...

This is an interesting idea, and I could actually see a lot of allusions to different legends and stories. There are a few reasons this doesn't work for me. 1) ...

Indeed. If you added an explanation I'd have to slap you. ;) The only part I have a problem with is the second to last line. Perhaps "Why the habit ...

Trite. Yeah, everyone has felt that "fire within the heart." But come up with a new phrase, a new metaphor, a new way of explaining it. This is simply restating ...

Firstly, I'd like to point out that if you need to include explanations, you haven't done your job as a writer. Secondly... Your little lessons are somewhat trite. I've heard ...

Ah, thank you, 'Reida! You know, I never knew the specific uses of further and farther, so your nitpick forced me to look it up. And you are indeed correct. ...

Crysi strolls in up to the bar, grabbing a stool by Snoink. "Hello, Nate," she says, as if nothing has changed. "Gimme a tall, cool one, you know what I ...

Thanks, guys. (wewinwelose, your critique was unacceptable -- please expand in the future. ;) ) Bek... I actually wrote this while having an episode. XD No, it doesn't speed up ...

racecar palindromic proportions repelling at 200bpm my existence painchestpainhelpimdrowning coughcough breathing, crashing, sliding, racing to the e.r. before it's too late stop sign slow it down, fo

I'm afraid I wasn't impressed with the poem. I'm not a fan of rhyming poems, because you have to do it really well in order to pull it off, and ...

No more angular momentum!!! *laughs* I really liked this. I like the "Shhh..." at the beginning. I hear it in a calming whisper, perhaps set to the background of ocean ...

I love this! I really want to hear the piece it's modeled after, but until then, I'll just evaluate it based on the poem itself. I love the repetition of ...