CrazyMuffinAssassin

Being a devout Christian, I thought this interesting. The way the cross is personified is brilliant, and i could not of thought of doing something like this. You should have ...

After lunch, we all go to the stadium, a large field lined with bleachers. I follow Sol, Milo, and Drew to the locker room, a room where guys go to ...

Aaron fell to the ground, army - crawling through the thick underbrush. Her heart pounded in her ears no need for the comma as her breath came out in swift ...

Sol and I sit down at a table near the window in the large cafeteria. Sol has his tray piled high with food, whereas I have hardly anything, save for ...

Honey, you gotta spell "Prologue" the right way. I'm just going to edit the whole thing right here, if that's okay. I'll put corrections in red, so you notice them. ...

Chapter 3 “Uh... hi?” I mutter awkwardly. “Dude, you’re gonna love it here,” Sol tells me, coming up to my side. He’s a few inches shorter than me, so he ...

I'm going to make a few corrections. When talking to someone, you must must MUST put a comma before their name. The "Let's eat Grandpa!" and "Let's eat, Grandpa!" example ...

And I've been beat to reviewing. I do agree with Amelia up there that this work had A LOT of grammatical errors that would drive any aspiring editor such as ...

I have just a couple of things to say about this... 3 eyed This should be "three-eyed." With numbers below 100, it should be a word, and with adjectives it's ...

It seemed a bit rambly. I thought it was a bit comical though I noticed that there were quite a few errors. I'm not going to correct you, since someone ...

He leads me across the lawn, his hand remaining on my shoulder and holding it with a tight grip. I keep my eyes downcast, focused on my feet. Axel doesn’t ...

wow that was weird. Um... I liked it though? I love how detailed it was, though it was a little creepy. Is the main character meant to be a necrophiliac? ...

Wow, that was deep. I loved the way that you portrayed the emotions through the thing. Keep up the good work. It was fantastic.

For an intro... It's too... lacking. You want to grab the attention of the reader, rather than just simply throwing out a cliched concept and expecting people to like it. ...

I LOVED THIS!!! The ending was rather unexpected. The descriptive detail of the dream made it so surprising to find out that it actually was a dream. It was rather ...