Cobweb

I cannot write you anymore, My golden pen has fallen; It faltered, shattered, breathed last, Consider changing the last line to 'faltered, shattered, breathed it's last' for clarity and flow. ...

I like this poem. It speaks to you with real emotion. It paints a picture. ...I hid beneath a heather bush, amongst the purple flowers... ...I buried my gun, my ...

Really, you can put anything to a tune. Consistent rhythm, from verse to verse, is necessary to keep the same tune but music is such an open art. I too ...

Good stuff first. The progressive rhythm is interesting and the rhyming is random in a unique way. Not so good stuff. ...try to reach for the skies. you try to ...

I don’t critique for grammatical error and such–unless they are screaming at me–so I’ll just go for the story and writing. Writing: Your writing is fine. Good. Maybe a little ...

Well, I don’t particularly like vampire stories–they are so worn. You are a good writer though, as good as many I’ve read, so this story just needs a really original ...

I believe Bickazer has covered most everything already (good critique, Bickazer) I too noticed the ‘Eragon feel’. Not that that’s so bad–after all, it worked for what’s-his-name–but you wa