Cobra

I'm writing a book which I hope will get published...does that count as a novel? Anyway, it's called Top Secret Cobra: Half-Human(I'm hoping to write more than one book, hence ...

I can tell that this is going to be another vampire story - cool! But if you're writing a vampire story, make sure that you add some variations on it, ...

I've been writing since age two or three, books only a couple of pages long, but I actually began working on my proper book when I was twelve. -Cobra

You need to put in punctuation and grammar. Because you don't use it the story seems like gibberish. Also, add some suspense. You've just thrown in the part about the ...

This is a really great piece of work and I want to hear more! Exactly how many people made it to the island and what's going to happen to them? ...

These are really cool pieces of work, with lots of suspense and mystery, but the thing I want to know is: What happened? In the first piece, it leaves us ...

It's a good story, but the grammar's a bit shaky. Also, why would he just suddenly snap and kill Chris?(I know it's just a dream but it still seems a ...

This is a good piece of work and you could go somewhere with it, but it seems to me like you're lingering too much on description. You've explored every detail ...

This has some future potential but there are a few points that need to be sorted out first. For example, why would an assassin let someone live when it would ...

This has the potential to be a really great piece of work and you're a long way towards that. All I have to say for you to improve is to ...

I know it's a bit late, but congratulations on starting. However, writing-especially part-time writing-takes a long time. Trust me. So good luck with your story. I'll be interested in seeing ...

you copied my title. that aint fair. stop, or i'll report you. -Cobra. the real Cobra

Toast. Ilike toast. Toast is good. Sorry, what was I talking about? I must have been daydreaming. Probably about toast again. Mmm, toast... (Two hours later) Sorry, what? Oh yeah, ...

Overall a good piece but there are a few mistakes that you might want to correct. I'm new here too so no pressure. I might not even know what I'm ...

Top Secret Cobra: Half-Human -Extract 2- (Please comment on this-I need to know what people think of it! Thanks) Cobra was running. His shoes rang on the metal floor as ...