Clup91

That was a very entertaining chapter indeed, and I was definetely one of those who found the period talk rather perculiar! It's fabulous how you've used that as a way ...

I like this beginning. It is the exception of data-dumping and actually fits into how this story is going to go. I'm really interested in how it's going to continue, ...

I knowww how you feel!! Today especially, I've been feeling lost, or like I want to escape for a bit because I feel like a lot of the stuff i ...

LOL bring back the real CN days man! Flintstones, Dexter's Lab, Cow and Chicken, Looney Tunes, I Am Weasel, Ed Edd and Eddy... :P Nah man it's a cool tune! ...

Hi, in ways you are definetely right and got me to think. Yeah, a lot of the time people see me as being good or a good person, but half ...

I definetely loved the last line (as usual)! Ummm it wa way too confusing becaue of the POV and you mixed up people's names and that really confused me and ...

I like this chapter! Um...make Nate sound more morose if that's the kind of air you want about him. Make Nathaniel's tone of voice more casual and less formality for ...

I liked it. Um is Melody supposed to sound like a total nerd with that whole "Mister" and formality thing going on? And please stop putting them disclaimers up before ...

Wow! I like the surfing! And it's not like a lot of romantic fics- it has an edge to it with the dodgy family problems and the fact she thinks ...

Hi! That was great! One thing: "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled. Is there more to this? Please!!! I want to read more! I'm already lovin' ...

Cut out the middle bit of Nate's past and let it seep in slowly throughout the story, like for example Nate bumping into her on the way home or something ...

Looking good, Meep! I've said this 2 times already, but seriously get character developing! I really get confused on which twin you're talking about, just don't get this confused: twins ...

That was a good chapter to have. So, let me get this straight: Nate used to like Melody, Nathaniel likes Melody, and Nathan is getting feelings for her? So it's ...

You have a knack for ending a chapter perfectly! Lol I do find that name thing weird, but it's all part of the fun. And I do like that they ...

Same, I think extra time editing is needed to make the sentences sound less intimidating and flow better. I like how odd the school is, and that it has been ...