ChernobyllyInclined

Brilliant, you added more! Okay, this was good and you definitely kept the tension; important. What I noticed was that Sarah's reactions are not too terribly realistic. Why is she ...

Hehe...I was afraid you were going to be really mad at me. Its hard to take critical feedback but you obviously are intelligent enough not resist it. Thats comforting. Anyway, ...

This was truly fantastically better. I did not expect this great of an improvement with as little time as you had. The characters are MUCH better developed, the dialogue is ...

Hmmm...yep, you're perfect. 'Nuff said, as silly, less then worthy Peter Pan might say.

I already told you, in this kind of story, it GETS background, only, it comes slowly. I only know of a few damn good writers that can make you understand ...

Thanks for the reviews. Anyone who likes this at all, review some of my other stuff too. And, Sela, the repetition in that sentence is barely noticeable. So there.

Ah. What a terrible story. I find your characters less then sympathetic and if, at any time, you decide to write more of this I will be forced to use ...

So you lied to me. You blatantly lied. This was much better. PM me your password so I can go on and just fix the paragraph spacing and a few ...

Yes. It makes no sense. Or the sense that is does make is not connected to the sense that it is meant to make. Thanks everyone for reviewing and perhaps ...

Wow. This was fantastic. The only mistake that I found was when you repeated 'armchair' in the paragraph about the intruder. Other then that, flawless. Although I liked the story ...