Char

I don't care for the prologue. It is written in a different tone than chapter one, which was good. I think you ought to delete it entirely because, trust me, ...

I am going to have to disagree with Griffen, Arvandor in saying that it is happening too quickly. The reader wants action, not more description.

chapters not done yet lol....

Oh wait, nevermind I gotcha now. I just needed to read it over. I dont think you needed to put in the whole bit about the baby getting kidnapped right ...

You guys rock, thanks for taking time to look at my work. I was wondering whether you would be lost with a lot of what was happening--however a lot things ...