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Re: Fallen
Now I think that this is really a very good basic idea for a poem, and I love the possiblilities of where it could go, but the main problem that ...
Oct 28, 2008 -
Re: life
Well this really isn't a poem (ok, it isn't a poem at all) it's more like a quote or something. It's really pretty, and could be a good idea for ...
Oct 27, 2008 -
Re: This Poem Is Me
Sorry Adrian, but I disagree with your saying the structure is "boring". Yes, it may not be the best or anything but I happen to like it, I found it ...
Oct 27, 2008 -
Re: A Devil Lurks Within
First of all, I would suggest trying non-rhyming poetry. Rhyming may seem easier but often takes much out of the poem where free verse is more, well, free. A display ...
Oct 27, 2008 -
Re: This Poem Is Me
Wow, this was really good!! I loved how you started each section then described it, and this one was just outstanding!! I am a glass girl, blunt words from a ...
Oct 27, 2008 -
Re: The Wall
Well it's mainly the first stanza that I'm unhappy with, not really sure why, just seems a little lacking. But thank you very much!!!!
Oct 27, 2008 -
Re: The Wall
Ok, I'm not really sure why, but I really dislike this... so go forth and critique, thank you =) These self-built walls of uncertainty and denial Persist in housing me ...
Oct 25, 2008 -
Re: Breakdown
These self-built walls of uncertainty and denial Persist in housing me in my tiny box; so small, Its cramped space leaves me sore, and alone My ransom posted on the ...
Oct 19, 2008 -
Re: Why then?
Oooh thank ye! Hmm now any suggestions on improvements/changes? I only rewrote it once before posting it here, but I only changed punctuation. Any more comments are greatly appreciated!!
Oct 14, 2008 -
Re: Why then?
Just so you know I don't want to get freaked at for mentioning God in this, I like it that way and am keeping that line... so go on and ...
Oct 12, 2008 -
Re: love will set you free
Thanks a bunch you guys... ok here is what I did with it the other night, still a crappy poem but I think it's better I don't know... haha (oh ...
Jun 10, 2008 -
Re: love will set you free
ok first of all I want to note, I KNOW that this sucks, it needs more imagery, and blah blah blah. Don't tell me what's wrong with it, tell me ...
Jun 8, 2008 -
Re: Save me today
Ok this was my first attempt at writing lyrics, and I'm not liking it very much... help please. Verse one: I’m lost in this world, alone and afraid I want ...
Jan 8, 2008 -
Re: Affliction
That was pretty good. I like how you were slightly (lack of a better word) random (if you get how I mean it) with your rhyming. It seemed in a ...
Jan 8, 2008 -
Re: Teenage Chameleon
Thank you SOOOOO incredibly much you guys!!!! I'll continue to work on it!!!! (here's the newly revised version) I think I must be like her; Delicate, patient, pleasant, She’s never ...
Jan 8, 2008
