Cade

This is a very interesting beginning. At first I was confused--I didn't know what you meant when you talked about her body taking in the electricity, and then I was ...

I have to say I'm not quite as impressed as Suzie. I find this a tired repetition of thousands of teenage naturey poems. The tone is breathy, listlike. The imagery...not ...

You have some lovely images here, but I feel as though they aren't connected well. I finished the poem and was sort of like..."Oh, that's nice. Where was it supposed ...

It has Freddie Highmore in it! I remember him from Finding Neverland, which he was effing adorable in. He plays the kid. He's actually like fifteen even though he looks ...

Awesome! Still, though, there are a lot of posts that are kind of pointless to answer now, like old contest adverts or even locked stickys that we can't answer. Those ...

Do you have any ideas on how to make the conversations more interesting? Watch real people, and watch TV. Look at how people interact both in the real world and ...

Summer, I noticed that you posted several chapters of this all at once. Clearly, you forgot to read the Rules for posting . Take advantage of the lovely link I've ...

I liked that! Great job pulling off that rhyme scheme for such a long narrative poem. Your main job now is making your rhyme and rhythm sound natural . Otherwise ...

I don't think I really have a place where I write. Sometimes I write in my room, but I don't really have a desk there. I do have a low ...

One thing that immediately stood out to me was the number of grammatical and spelling errors here. Obviously, these technical issues aren't all there is to your piece, but people ...

Thanks, Heather, Gummy, and Kit. A line that seems a touch out of place is the one referring to grandma in the den. The rest of the poem rotates around ...

I'm ambivalent on this one, Heather. It's well-written overall, but I think it might have been overdone. Plenty of writing guides I've read advise against the use of archaic diction, ...

Nah, if a story has perfect grammar that means the story itself is perfect. Why on earth would I critique it? It's not like writing has more to it than ...

Like the others, and as always, I'm a fan. I disagree, though, on the beginning...I disliked the first stanza. Well, not all of it. wine bleeds in erratic patterns and ...

This seems like a typical teen angst poem to me, but that's not a death sentence. When writing about a topic as emotional as a divorce, it's easy to slip ...