Cade

This poem really doesn't do anything for me...know why? It's because it's a bunch of poorly connected phrases that repeat, without emotion, countless cliches and cries of teen angst. I ...

I do like the style, and I find myself really liking the voice in this poem. You definitely have a talent for that, for sound and rhythm and tone; use ...

I don't necessarily agree with MadHatter and blacktiger3915 in that the poem was "weak" but I'll say it was simple. There's nothing wrong with simple poetry--you might find this in ...

Help me out here! My parents agreed to get me a laptop for my seventeenth birthday. I'm to use this laptop for the rest of junior year, college applications, senior ...

This belongs under "Cliche Lyrics to Tired Pop Songs," not poetry. Next time, instead of stealing from Hallmark cards and Top 40 hits, write something that comes from you --we ...

So much shiny!

I'll just echo everyone else and say, "By golly, you've come to the right place." Look forward to seeing your work around! -Colleen

Suzie can write poetry but she has problems making it sound good. I think one of your biggest problems, here and with poetry overall, dear, is flow. The first two ...

THE ALL CAPS TITLE IS REALLY ANNOYING. I DON'T LIKE TO FEEL LIKE I'M BEING YELLED AT. I think it's just a weensy bit emo/cliche (as the two go hand-in-hand). ...

Merry Christmas, YWS!

Granted, but it's pre-chewed. I wish I had some lip balm.

I do like it, especially the end--I think you pulled that off well. My one complaint is that I've seen musical performance expressed this way before, and I'm getting a ...

I noticed that you've posted A LOT of stuff lately. Please don't do this--you must not have seen the rules. Try not to post more than one new thing in ...

I'm not much for fantasy, but welcome! I live close to Toronto. Right across the lake in Rochester, in fact. Hope you enjoy YWS! -Colleen

*seconds everything Suzanne said* I think your main problem is that the poem is too broad and it jumps around too much. Poetry is much more appealing when it's personal ...