Cade

This piece has some minor technical issues...you have plenty of places where commas are needed, and a couple fragments. The main problem I see here...adjectives. They are the enemy, and ...

I've always wanted to write music and lyrics but I'm not very good at attempts at rhyming for songs usually come out sounded forced or stupid (I did do a ...

aqua green cooking appliances rumble, like the mail truck outside, in a kitchen whose age trumps my (almost) sixteen years, where the tea kettle fidgets, blowing kisses in the corner, ...

The last four lines are...lyrical, I guess, with the repetition of "no time" and the stolen/broken slant rhyme. the dramatic dirt demanding him This is overdone. It's lovely alliteration but ...

I saw the format of this poem before I read it and I assumed that it was going to rhyme. I became confused when it didn't. Don't make it rhyme, ...

Fantastic piece! I'd like it even more without the "ands" in the second stanza..."the dirt under your fingernails/the way you eat pizza with a knife and fork" You have punctuation ...