Cade

Ooh, this poem made me shiver. I like it. bar our way and sharpened razor wire cuts the observant sky ethereal. I would stick "and sharpened razor wire" on the ...

Tairen trudged over another snowy hill, his feet numb, and going black. His feet are turning black? Somehow I don't believe that. and it seemed to Tairen as though dieing ...

This isn't really anything new, but you do have some interesting imagery. I liked the bit "It bends its head,/kissing the sky goodnight" I pretty much second everything bubbles said. ...

The bell rings, excusing us from fourth period lab. Plastic goggles in the cabinet, heavy aprons unsnapped and hung by the door, we stepped out into the hallway. Chemistry was ...

The thing that bothered me right away about this piece was the capitalization at the beginning of each line. It doesn't make sense, especially for phrases that go from one ...

I really liked the first line, but my interest in this piece kind of went down from there. Perhaps it was the awkward structure - I didn't agree with the ...

No more caps in odd places! I love you! This poem has been greatly improved. And yet I see a beauty in her half-finished form, in the dead flesh sprawled ...

I didn't completely understand this poem, but this is what I have to offer: A K of bushland Blackened by fire New growth bloom where the old growth fall Put ...

Victor stops: His sight raises and He spots Me observing Him: Father and son. ...This land - barren From animal and plant, unwanted By all but humanity - by all ...

I agree with jearjioe. It needs more - each verse is so short. I got to the end and I was going, "What a rip off!" I've read stuff like ...

Hi! I'm new too. My name's Colleen. And your avatar freaks me out. It's watching me. Constantly. *shivers*

...the light inside sliding back and forth like a discotheque. I looked up discotheque. So it's a fancy word for a disco nightclub? I would think that the light would ...

This poem is really nothing new. It sounds like a country song. However, if you do wish to take the time to improve it, it needs a lot more puncutation, ...

Let's go through this stanza by stanza, or verse by verse, rather. As the day starts getting shorter... I slip into my empty eyes. The shadows cast down... The moon ...

The battle of wills between pen, mind, and soul Abandon yourself, for there are no rules or judgment Raw emotion has no bounds The gift to ponder on. This is ...