Cade

I disagree. I think that this introduction provides a good foil for that of the sweaty previous installment. This doctor fellow sort of makes me think of House, although that ...

I didn't find it truly striking or new, but it was well-written and the dialogue was above average. I did have a problem with this sentence: After his father passed ...

My suggestions/questions are in orange: Without ivy or mold, your fountain of joy runs dry. The fountain runs dry because it doesn't have ivy or mold? Curled round the cracked ...

I agree - some punctuation other than those two commas would really help. It sounds nice - the meter, rhythm, and rhyme are all fine, and, as Claudette said, it ...

I'm not sure I understand the reference to Babylon though. Explain? Ha, though I'm entirely against people defending their work, I'm going to explain Babylon. Erm...I wrote this after studying ...

Exactly, Snoink! *shakes head* This is why I need to organize an army of disgruntled high school literature freaks to write to our Board of Education and demand advanced English ...

Yeah, I agree with Fireweed. I read Speak , which is wonderful. Well, I read it in seventh grade. Perhaps it is still wonderful. Anyway, I read Catalyst after that, ...

Here, we learn the difference between fatalities and murder. We are all crude sketches of ourselves here, squinting eyes, fingers creating constellations from the dents made by shrapnel in the ...

Ooh, that last stanza was great. Hmm, this piece has great imagery, and some of these things are said in a unique way. I enjoyed each phrase separately, but it ...

Oh, those are wonderful responses! I had to read them over a few times, and not just because Brad's was completely over my head the first time. This is a ...

C'mon, Harpz, don't take it personally. No piece is perfect. The one thing that annoyed me the most about this piece was too much background information. The narrator seems a ...

Well, getting back to the poem... It does sound a bit like the attention to rhythm is overpowering the language itself. With that attention to rhythm, it's a little disappointing ...

I liked your response, bob. ..."what I write has value based on what it expresses and how that expands the bounderies of what people have already expressed and what people ...

The two problems this piece has are 1) too much telling, not enough showing, and 2) fragments. 1) If you show more and tell less, the story will be more ...

Oh my goodness! Is this a shape poem? SHAPE POEMS! Sorry if it's not a shape poem, but it sure looks like a tornado profile. Ooh, center it. Sorry for ...