Cade

A well written extended metaphor. Simple and effective, but too short to be anything but good. Everything Gummy writes is a well-written extended metaphor. I like it. I like it ...

Did I hear "poet"? *waves* Welcome, Candide! -Colleen

And, of course, this makes me think of a poem: [/url]

I am definitely a fan of the beginning and the end of this poem, but I think that even after revision the second stanza is unnecessary. If not unnecessary...still done ...

Not to contradict her but simply give another opinion... Quote: Shaking hands that no longer work, Yes, at first this line caught me off guard. You imagine someone shaking with ...

I'm more of a poet, and I've never much liked writing prose. Finishing a short story is painful for me. I've found that you just have to force yourself to ...

I'll second Mesh and Clau in terms of the flow and rhythm problems here. I also fail to understand it. That said, I think you did a really great job ...

I like the contrast created here, butterflies and...horrible things. I suppose you're talking about butterflies in one's stomach? I share your sentiments. Meaning. It's a little too straightforward fo

Meaning. Pretty straightforward, and if you're going for sophisticated poetry, some subtlety would be nice...I do like that you introduce some sort of conflict or ambiguity with the questions in ...

Meaning. I'm going to have to go with Clau here and say I didn't completely understand it. I feel like there's some sort of huge extended metaphor here, but it ...

Hmm...I feel like too much of the poem is lost in the effort to rhyme well. While it's a good idea to challenge oneself with a rhyme scheme and some ...

*seconds Mesh's last comment* Shadow - Harold is a little boy who draws stuff with his crayon. He sort of creates little worlds for himself. Fantastic children's book. One of ...

"Maybe Not" Barenaked Ladies.

Genius. Yes. Shakespeare = yay. Nuff said.

This poem demonstrates that you are quite capable of being coherent and following a pattern, so good job. I'd take it any day over jumbled, fragmented emo poetry. That said, ...