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  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Play. Pause. Rewind.

    A great piece.. there were some parts that could be fixed up, I think. Some small grammar and spelling errors/typos.. Otherwise, nice piece. I think that perhaps you could go ...

    Aug 2, 2010
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: The Car in the House

    This is just a little snippet of.. something. I'm not quite sure what. I doubt I'll add on to it, make it a longer piece. Just a stand alone scene. ...

    Aug 2, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Jealousy

    I really like the imagery, the new color label for jealousy.. interesting piece. I think that perhaps you could go a bit further into it, using the colors as a ...

    Aug 2, 2010
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: No Obligations

    I would keep the capitalization, and I didn't notice the huge repetition of "wicked", so I would keep both of those. However, the punctuation felt a bit excessive to me, ...

    Jul 30, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Anguish

    That moment In which you can't move Can't think Can't speak Can't even cry Can only stand there, Swallowing down sounds and thoughts And screams Such violent screams You try ...

    Jul 30, 2010
  • Other Poetry Re: haiku for the shipwrecked

    Concise, simple, with great humor in it. I absolutely loved it. c:

    Jul 29, 2010
  • Action/Adventure Short Stories Re: Fade

    This piece was good- but I think it could be improved. There is obviously a lot of description, and good description: however, I think that it kind of draws away ...

    Jul 29, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: The Beggar

    This was a beautiful piece, and was interestingly worded. However, I have a word of advice for you: Shy away from cliche phrases. By this, I mean "concrete jungle", etc. ...

    Jul 29, 2010
  • Other Poetry Re: Empty Music

    Honestly, I really don't agree with the first review... the spit was not disgusting. That's ridiculous. I will say, however, that the part about the "best friend" was somewhat random, ...

    Jul 29, 2010
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: My Eyes See You.

    Interesting poetic prose... I would consider capitalizing "I" throughout the poem.. the difference was somewhat distracting for me, despite it's being such a minor detail. I also think that you ...

    Jul 28, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Daisies are my Favorite

    Definitely a new type of poem for me. :) And I'm trying to use more punctuation. Did I overdo it? Daisies: The musical flowers Have always been my favorite, Because ...

    Jul 28, 2010
  • Other Poetry Re: Have You Ever?

    Have you ever Bedded with the sun, As it sets across the hills? Looked upon its last rays as your eyes close And dreamt as it sailed the skies? Have ...

    Jul 28, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Untitled Poem

    I too would suggest that you consider omitting the rhyme scheme. I think that it would improve the piece altogether.. However, if you feel that it is necessary, I would ...

    Jul 23, 2010
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: A Walk to Remember

    Very good piece, especially for your first short at a short story. I would consider adding in a bit more description, some more thoughts and reactions like you had at ...

    Jul 20, 2010
  • Other Poetry Re: Goldfish(The Summary of Man Kind)

    Incredibly interesting metaphors and imagery. I thought this was a great piece.. awesome word choice, fascinating thought process, nice rhythm and flow, smooth and fitting for the topic. Overall, wond

    Jul 20, 2010


It's been many years since I had such an exemplary vegetable.
— Mr Collins, Pride and Prejudice