Butterfly18

Thanks. Glad you liked it. And I'm still working on injecting some more of the emotions without making it sounds like informative exposition. Haha. :)

Thanks, Island6. The emotions is what some people have commented on. I'm working on it. :) Glad you liked it. :)

Well thanks. I would have shown more description with the senses, smells and sounds, but I had a word limit of 600 maximum and my teacher is all about 'compressing' ...

Yeah I'm not too sure about that comma either. It feels like an action tag but looks like a speech tag, so I dunno how I should use that one. ...

Thanks, RenGrey. I appreciate the kind words. :)

No problem RenGrey. I'd be happy to help. Structuring and Planning can seem boring at first, but once you realize how beneficial it is, you will learn to love it. ...

Yeah I never used to structure either. I used to hate it. I felt it sucked the fun out of it, knowing everything that was going to happen beforehand. I ...

It sounds like a great idea, RenGrey. I've been writing since I was like 9, but I began writing seriously at age 12 and I'm now 18. So I count ...

Here I am to go through the rest of this chapter, phoenixwriter. I will start where I left off. I notice that you use speech tags with nearly all the ...

creativemuse1, it'd help phoenixwriter if you were to show how you could fix up the, chopped up sentences, you mentioned you saw. Give an example of one of them so ...

It wasn't a disaster, but its your decision. :)

Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. :)

Well thank you, RenGrey. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review. And I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

Very thorough critique, Octave. It sums up everything I was trying to say, yet couldn't find the words at the time. :) This is good advice, Kyousuke. You should seriously ...

I thought you said you changed this bit? The sweet scent of summer field flowers tickles my mind, sweeping away the ground below me with a deaf lullaby of mixed ...