Butterfinger

Hiya!!! I really enjoyed the flow to this poem, it felt like lyrics to me, almost a sort of rap. As a reader, I was very engaged from the time ...

Hiya!!! I love this one! Here's my comments! Rage is a sickness full of brutal anger and dark desires. Attiude is a heartless emotion Interesting connection...makes me think! vowed to ...

Hey Everyone! This short excerpt is totally fiction, but it's something I had to write. It got my blood pumping and this story just had to jump out onto paper. ...

Thanks! I changed a few lines. I think it sounds better.

Hey Everybody!!! I've never written lyric before, but this felt right when it came out. Comment! Critique! Vrs 1 He said, the moon is shining down on us the world ...

This is the classic breakup story with a broken heart and you put a nice rhythm to it. Nice word choice, it flowed smoothly. As a reader, I don't feel ...

Hey there! Welcome to YWS!! Great to read your writing! I do think this is more of narrative poetry and I absolutely love the story line! Depressing, but beautiful in ...

Wow! I'm sooo happy for all your comments! I actually thought I was being smart when I spelled lite.....haha....I had a stupid blonde moment! (even though I'm not blonde!) I ...

Hey everybody! I want to see just as many reviews as there are views! So if you click it, review it! Say what you have to say! Let me know ...

I really love this poem! Beautiful wording and it flows perfectly! You paint an interesting picture! Keep writing!

perdido! Thanks for your comments! I love constructive criticisms! They always help! I don't know that words can be harsh and seductive and daring at the same time. Maybe pick ...

I love the rhythm, and the rhyme, it flows very smoothly and doesn't seem forced at all. It's the story of my life! Haha! Every one has to battle their ...

Wow, this is very long and it doesn't read very smoothly. It's kind of like your rambling, but I get the gist. Your format urks me because it just adds ...

Come on people! 42 views and only 3 reviews!

I don't know how to link, but could you review some of mine?