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Burma86

  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: A Risk Worth Taking

    Okay, so this definitely is a powerful story. You are able to illustrate pain her pain and her desire to fight back against all odds. However, your story resembles a ...

    Sep 22, 2011
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: A Sanguine Dance

    Well, you certainly were right about this being a very gruesome and bloody story. But I also found it to be a very enjoyable and interesting read. Admittedly, the vampire ...

    Sep 22, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Reflection

    What a beautiful story. It was truly haunting, and most importantly, it was poignant. The manner in which your main character reacts to the woman is perfect. This idea of ...

    Aug 1, 2011
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: The lesser spirit

    I agree with wickedwonder here. You really worked hard on this and it paid off. You have successfully created an intense and chilling story that will keep your readers on ...

    Aug 1, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Caffeinated Epiphanies

    What a fantastic story. You definitely have the apathetic attitude of a teen down without making your story unnecessarily angsty. These encounters are original and relatable and most importantly, they

    Aug 1, 2011
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: This Time

    I really love the way this piece was organized. You created a story with lots of action, balanced by an insight into the characters. I found myself caring a great ...

    Aug 1, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Panic Attack

    This was very well-written and compelling. Right off the bat, I could tell from your language that this was from the perspective of a child. Writing from a child's perspective ...

    Jul 31, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Unsure of yet.

    This is a truly haunting story. The imagery creates an almost ethereal aspect to the story, which I'm sure you had hoped for. So kudos for pulling it off! There ...

    Jul 31, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Subject

    This was an excellent read. Your sentences flowed well and didn't run on. You did a very good job of keeping the reader's attention throughout the story and even creating ...

    Jul 31, 2011
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Return What's Mine

    Hey! Cool story. Fun to read. I really liked your creepy description of the disguised monster Stan. You did a very good job of creating a villain there. However, I ...

    Jul 31, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Perfect

    This story blew me away. It was superb in so many ways. In particular, I smiled and chuckled to myself whenever Violet let out one of her perfectly-timed, biting comments. ...

    Jul 29, 2011
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Animal Freak- Part Two

    I really enjoyed reading this fairytale. Your use of romanticism makes this story colorful and intriguing. As far as grammar goes, what really stood out were your uses of "your" ...

    Jul 29, 2011
  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General Re: Kurt

    Excellent story! You definitely put a great deal of time into this and it has certainly paid off. The time-travel twist to the story is perfectly integrated into the plot. ...

    Jul 25, 2011
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: The Neurologist Diaries: Catching Cold on Blackbeard's Ship

    I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed this story. It was fast paced and humorous and you seem to have expertly captured the imagery of a pirate ship and its ...

    Jul 25, 2011
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: The Kiss

    This is definitely a well-constructed scene. The dialogue has a quick enough pace as well as enough descriptive elements to let the reader know a little about each character. There ...

    Jul 25, 2011


I was weeping as much for him as her; we do sometimes pity creatures that have none of the feeling either for themselves or others.
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights