Boni_Bee

Could someone crit this??? :? Please!!! :)

The second part was confusing, about the boys, but....I liked it all the same. :) It's interesting! :wink:

Chapter 2 The masts of the Jeffina creaked, and the boat rolled in the water gently, as the sailors carried casks of salt pork and biscuits on board. They would ...

Nice story :) A couple of spelling mistakes, but overall very good. Is there any more? :) There could be a bit more emotion in it, but don't overdo it. ...

I like it! :) The beginning is a bit cliche, as it's a scenario that happens a lot, but it certainly had me interested when we got to the air ...

It's...interesting! :? I don't know what to crit, but I thought it was pretty good. The first bit, when she was called lots of times, went a bit drawn out...

Joined in May

God gave us free will, so it's our choice in what we do, but if we want God to help us, we only have to ask and help will be ...

Thanks, Mesh!!! I"ll have to sit down one day and think about changing it, lol! :) I understand what you mean. The spy is someone 'I' know, as you will ...

Yeah, same as what Eloere said :) It's a great story. The first paragraph made me go...'oh, another one of those', but I kept reading, and it had me wanting ...

6/10 because it reminds me of a song....

Ok, I know this is an old poem, but I found it in your portfolio...so... I really like it, although the second line is too much like the first line, ...

5/10 ????? who is it?

Thanks!!! It helped. The guard is a newbie to the regiment, and his heart isn't hardend yet, and he's falling in love with Emily (lol), and they...no, I won't ruin ...

It's pretty cool :) the first paragraph seems too...repetetive, no, that's not the right word...anyway, I'm looking forward to the next bit. I like the last paragraph :)