BlueTiger

I don't feel I have a lot to contribute here, but I do feel that this is the chapter you could work on the most when it comes to editing. ...

I know this chapter has changed dramatically since this point. It would have ahd to, considering you completely altered the first one, this one would need to change to fit ...

It looks like I'm the first to review on the revised version of this! I'm assuming you didn't repost due to the order in which it would be displayed on ...

I really like this! I figured that I would read and review your story in light of review day and because you're my captain :D I think this was actually ...