Blink

Ian Fleming, lulz. The second time I got Margaret Mitchell. And then I got Kurt Vonnegut. Bear in mind that these were all extracts of the same short story. xD

Wooh. This is much better than Facebook's. Loving them, Nate! :D

Join . For all you Tolkien fans. :D

Hullo. :) The first stanza seemed to be going somewhere, with its ambiguity and abstract images, but then as the poem went on I realised that these uncertainties and questions ...

I agree with Rosey. Long sentences give your writing a somewhat formal tone, which is in complete contrast to the contractions you've got going on - "they'd"; "wasn't". The problem ...

Well, I'm basically the slowest/laziest reader in the world, but here's what I have to/intend to read. ^^ For English Lit: Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen North and South ...

Hey! Welcome to YWS! :) This is had a an excellent opening, and a great deal of potential from the first couple of paragraphs. However, I think this is too ...

Hey! I'm going to be negative: this really bored me. Sure, there was some interesting assonance with the whole "gasoline/pain" but if you just look at those lines, you will ...

Hey! =D Okay, so! The opening paragraph was way too short, too brief and unexplored. I know you're trying not to give anything away, but just slow down - put ...

Hullo. Okay, so, this was certainly interesting and somewhat original. But what I think this poem is lacking is substance. The writing on the walls is just a metaphor for ...

Hey! In the first paragraph, you say that the main character heard the sound before feeling pain, and then describe how there was no pain. That doesn't really make sense. ...

Hey! I actually quite like the ending, in that it feels ongoing and endless. I think it works. :) That said, there are numerous grammatical errors going on here - ...

Hey! Nice story! But a few things: Watch out for tense changes - sometimes your character is talking in the present, but the descriptions are in the past. Eg, "Jack ...

Hey, Kitro. =] I agree that this poem was flat, and it was meaningless. It read as very ranty and I couldn't empathise with it whatsoever. In particular, the rhyme ...

TITLE. Where is the title? Give everything you write a title. Even "Angry Angst" looks better than "Untitled". But anyway. ;) Okay, now, I know this wasn't intended as a ...