BenGrange

It's a long I sound, like Rye-an. It's short for Orian, which you'll find out soon. Thanks for the review, I'll look into those word choices. Thanks!

Thanks for the info! Yeah, I've heard phrases like "show don't tell" and "info dump" before. I think that section of info does need some work. As for the rest ...

Okay, I've revised the sections you commented on. If you'd like to take a look you can. :) thanks!

Awesome review. Thanks again. :) I revised it a bit, so if you want to look at it again, you can. :) Again, thanks for the awesome review! It helped!

Thanks for noticing that. I went in to fix that part but must not have done it properly (it was 1 am when i did it so I'm not surprised). ...

Awesome, I've read through and agree with most (if not all) of these comments. This chapter has had the least amount of attention in the past weeks, so I'm glad ...

Thanks for the first suggestion. I went back and read it, and the imagery was lacking. I put in a bit more description, so thanks! As to the second comment, ...

Hey, thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you're not overly complimentary - it seems no one is really willing to tell me what they think is wrong with my book. ...

Thanks for the review! I'm glad you found things in it that you liked. :)

Hey! Thanks for the review! I'll try to explain what I can. The italicized portions at the beginning are entries from a journal by Rian's Uncle Blake. You'll understand the ...

Hey! Thanks for the review! I'll try to explain what I can. The italicized portions at the beginning are entries from a journal by Rian's Uncle Blake. You'll understand the ...

Thanks for the review!

Hey, thanks for the comment! I'm glad you see the characters clearly, and were able to connect with some of them! Also, thanks for the compliments. One thing with the ...

I'm going to post this as a review so I can get points . . . sorry for the multiple posts.